


Calvin The Dark Wizard

by PastaBucket



Category: Calvin & Hobbes
Genre: Disappointment, Gen, wizardry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-28 12:04:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17787068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaBucket/pseuds/PastaBucket
Summary: Calvin reveals his masterplan to rule all of mankind with dark, possibly Satanic magic.





	1. Chapter 1

"Homework is stupid.", Calvin said as he walked home from school.

"But you learn so much.", Hobbes argued.

"Do I, though? I'm never going to have any use for algebra. I have magic."

"You have magic?"

"Yeah, I'm a wizard."

"How come you've never told me that?", Hobbes wondered.

"Because you've never asked me."

"Okay, so what can you do then?"

"I can levitate."

"Cool! Can you teach me how?"

"I dunno. You're pretty big. I'm not sure the magic will be enough."

"So you can only levitate small things?"

"It's still better than algebra."

"I'm pretty sure they use algebra to make airplanes.", Hobbes said.

"Yeah, but you don't need algebra to book a ticket."

"True."

"When was the last time that YOU needed algebra for anything?"

"Well, I'm a tiger.", said Hobbes. "We don't need to go to school at all."

"That's kind of racist."

"Humans are naturally born to serve me, and I'm not afraid to say it."

"Well, with my wizard powers, I will rule mankind to the point where I don't need algebra."

"By levitating?"

"I can do a lot more than just levitate. It's just that levitation is by far the easiest of my powers to demonstrate."

"Yeah, a demonstration would be pretty cool."

"Okay, but we need to go somewhere secluded first. I don't want to flaunt my powers, and tip people off to their impending demise."

"I understand."

Calvin took Hobbes to a secluded glen.

"Behold! I shall now levitate!"

Hobbes stared at his feet, looking for something to happen. "I don't think it's working.", he remarked after a while.

"Hold on. I need to channel my wizard powers.", Calvin grunted.

"Okay.", Hobbes said. "I still don't see anything happening."

"Well I'm all exhausted for today. These powers are pretty hard to wield."

"Aww." Hobbes sighed with disappointment.

"Maybe I can show you tomorrow or something. ...or a week from now."


	2. A week later

"I don't get why you insist on dragging me back here, Hobbes."

"...and pass up on a chance to see somebody actually levitate? Come on!"

"But I don't really feel up to it. It's much harder to levitate in real life than on TV."

"Look, if you levitate, then I might consider joining you as general of your dark forces. Might."

"Okay, hold on..."

"I'm not going anywhere.", Hobbes said.

Calvin began grunting and breathing heavily.

"Okay, when you said 'levitate', I did not think you meant standing on your toes like that."

"Look, it's hard - okay?!", Calvin said, flustered. "I guess Satan is a busy guy or something. I have to channel all these dark and dangerous forces into my little body, and I have to be very careful, okay?"

"Well, regardless, I'd say the end result is as non-existant as last week. Still, what's a week compared to magical world domination?"

"Exactly. Let's go home."

"You think you'll be ready next week?", Hobbes wondered.

"I dunno. We'll see."


End file.
